i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you win again, gameday.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
