goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
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