did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
