I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
