It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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