pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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