Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
