You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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