She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
