He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Still dying that you shit outside
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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