But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
