We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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