Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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