You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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