i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
