can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
