why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
