I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
