My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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