Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Randomize
