would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
