So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
