Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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