I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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