Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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