Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize