He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
