What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
