Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
