Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I use my feet as sexual weapons
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
