remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
