Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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