No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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