i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
