not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
