Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
