Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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