There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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