after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
