yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
