Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
