You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
