Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
