If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
