he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
