Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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