As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize