i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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