Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
