omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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