everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
