This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
