Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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