'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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