apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
