Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
