You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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