Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
