and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Drake has all the answers
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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